The most popular non-religious wedding readings
I’m not sure why but readings do seem to have a trend of their own. I can go for years hearing one particularly reading all of the time, to forgetting it ever existed. A good example of that is ‘On Marriage,’ from the Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. There was a time that I knew it off by heart just from hearing it but I can actually say it’s been a good while since I last heard it.
In the last few years or so there has definitely been a shift towards more light-hearted, modern readings which tend to take the ‘p’ out of marriage, have a bit of fun with it and remind us what love and marriage is really actually all about, when you put all the lovey dovey stuff aside. As we’re still in 2014, I’ve put together a list of the most popular wedding readings from last year. So here they are. And all you need to do is to click on the title for the full reading to appear. I know, I know. I’m very helpful like that!
[accordion title=”He never leaves the seat up by Pam Ayres”]He never leaves the seat up
Or wet towels upon the floor
The toothpaste has the lid on
And he always shuts the door!
She’s very clean and tidy
Though she may sometimes delude
Leave your things out at your peril
In a second they’ll have moved!
He’s a very active person
As are all his next of kin
Where as she likes lazy days
He’ll still drag her to the gym!
He romances her and dines her
Home cooked dinners and the like
He even knows her favourite food
And spoils her day and night!
She’s thoughtful when he looks at her
A smile upon his face
Will he look that good in 50 years
When his dentures aren’t in place?!
He says he loves her figure
And her mental prowess too
But when gravity takes her over
Will she charm with her IQ?
She says she loves his kindness
And his patience is a must
And of course she thinks he’s handsome
Which in her eyes is a plus!
They’re both not wholly perfect
But who are we to judge
He can be pig headed
Where as she won’t even budge!
All that said and done
They love the time they spent together
And I hope as I’m sure you do
That this fine day will last forever.
He’ll be more than just her husband
He’ll also be her friend
And she’ll be more than just his wife
She’s be his soul mate ‘till the end.
[/accordion] [accordion title=”Yes, I’ll Marry you by Pam Ayres”]Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear, and here’s the reason why; So I can push you out of bed when the baby starts to cry, and if we hear a knocking and it’s creepy and it’s late, I hand you the torch you see, and you investigate.
Yes I’ll marry you, my dear, you may not apprehend it, but when the tumble-drier goes it’s you that has to mend it. You have to face the neighbour should our labrador attack him, and if a drunkard fondles me it’s you that has to whack him.
Yes, I’ll marry you, you’re virile and you’re lean, my house is like a pigsty you can help to keep it clean. That tasty little dinner which you served by candlelight, as I do chipolatas, you can cook it every night!
It’s you who has to work the drill and put up curtain track, and when I am in a mood it’s you who gets the flak. i do see great advantages, but none of them for you, and so before you see the light, I do, I do, I do
[/accordion] [accordion title=”The Owl and the Pussy Cat by Edward Lear”]The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
‘O lovely Pussy! O Pussy my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are!
Pussy said to the Owl, ‘You elegant fowl!
How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?’
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose
Dear pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?’ Said the Piggy, ‘I will.’
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon!
[/accordion] [accordion title=”On Your Wedding Day, Author Unknown”]Today is a day you will always remember
The greatest in anyone’s life
You’ll start off the day just two people in love
And end it as Husband and Wife
It’s a brand new beginning, the start of a journey
With moments to cherish and treasure
And although there’ll be times when you both disagree
These will surely be outweighed by pleasure
You’ll have heard many words of advice in the past
When the secrets of marriage were spoken
But you know that the answers lie hidden inside
Where the bond of true love lies unbroken
So live happy forever as lovers and friends
It’s the dawn of a new life for you
As you stand together with love in your eyes
From the moment you whisper ‘I do’
And with luck, all your hopes, and your dreams can be real
May success find its way to your hearts
Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys
But today is the day it all starts
[/accordion] [accordion title=”Love is a Temporary Madness, extract from Captain Correlli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres”]Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just being “in love” which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.
[/accordion] [accordion title=”Scaffolding by Seamus Heaney”]Masons, when they start upon a building,
Are careful to test out the scaffolding;
Make sure that planks won’t slip at busy points,
Secure all ladders, tighten bolted joints,
And yet all this comes down when the job’s done,
Showing off walls of sure and solid stone.
So if, my dear, there sometimes seem to be
Old bridges breaking between you and me
Never fear. We may let the scaffolds fall
Confident that we have built our wall.
[/accordion] [accordion title=”The Apache Wedding Song, Author Unknown”]Now you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no loneliness for you,
for each of you will be the companion to the other.
Now you are two people,
but there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place
and enter into your days together.
And may your days be good
and long upon the earth.
[/accordion] [accordion title=”Us Two from Now We Are Six By A.A. Milne”]Wherever I am, there’s always Pooh,
There’s always Pooh and Me.
Whatever I do, he wants to do,
“Where are you going today?” says Pooh…
“Well, that’s very odd ‘cos I was too.
“Let’s go together,” says Pooh, says he.
“Let’s go together,” says Pooh.
“What’s twice eleven?” I said to Pooh,
“Twice what?” said Pooh to Me.
“I think it ought to be twenty two.”
“Just what I think myself,” said Pooh.
“It wasn’t an easy sum to do,
But that’s what it is,” said Pooh, said he.
“That’s what it is,” said Pooh.
“Let’s look for dragons,” I said to Pooh.
“Yes, let’s,” said Pooh to Me.
We crossed the river and found a few…
“Yes, those are dragons all right,” said Pooh.
“As soon as I saw their beaks I knew.
That’s what they are,” said Pooh, said he.
“That’s what they are,” said Pooh.
“Let’s frighten the dragons,” I said to Pooh.
“That’s right,” said Pooh to Me.
“I’m not afraid,” I said to Pooh,
And I held his paw and I shouted “Shoo!
Silly old dragons!”… and off they flew.
“I wasn’t afraid,” said Pooh, said he,
“I’m never afraid with you.”
So wherever I am, there’s always Pooh,
There’s always Pooh and Me.
“What would I do?” I said to Pooh,
“If it wasn’t for you,” and Pooh said… “True,
It isn’t much fun for One, but Two
Can stick together,” says Pooh, says he.
[/accordion] [accordion title=”A Lovely Love Story by Edward Monckton”]The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice.
Although it was cold he was happy in there. It was, after all, his cage.
Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur’s cage with kind words and loving thoughts.
I like this Dinosaur thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny.
He is also quite clever though I will not tell him this for now.
I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur, thought the Dinosaur.
She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice.
She is also a free spirit which is a quality I much admire in a dinosaur.
But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
He is also overly fond of things.
Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of things?
But her mind skips from here to there so quickly thought the Dinosaur.
She is also uncommonly keen on shopping.
Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping?
I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for things, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered individual.
I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping, thought the Dinosaur.
For she fills our life with beautiful thoughts and wonderful surprises. Besides,
I am not unkeen on shopping either.
Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old.
Look at them.
Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.
And that, my friends, is how it is with love.
Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together.
For the sun is warm.
And the world is a beautiful place
[/accordion] [accordion title=”Love is by Nikki Giovanni”]Some people forget that love is
tucking you in and kissing you “good night”
No matter how young or old you are
Some people don’t remember that love is
listening and laughing and asking questions
no matter what your age
Few recognize that love is
Commitment, responsibility, no fun at all,
unless
love is
you and me
[/accordion]
